Wednesday, March 6, 2013

It's been a long weary journey

Hello followers!

  I wanted to make a quick blog post just to say that no, i did not die :)  Good new huh?  But of course, i have not been posting much, in fact, my last post was about 6 months ago.  Pretty pathetic.  Yes, life has been busy, as it always is, but that is no excuse not to post.  I promise, i will really try to do better, at least one good post a month (at least!).

So what's been going on in our neck of the woods?  Mostly a lot of self improvement.  The last year or so i've been dealing with a lot of depression (my post here explains it more) and working through my grief.  I know that my grief will never completely be over, but it has gotten much better.  I will always miss our daughter, but the pain has gotten easier to bare.  Giving myself actual time to work through my emotions, and having the support of those close in my life really helped.  I think that is what helped the most, to know those closest to me were no longer judging me and allowing me to be me.

Progress was slow, but it came.  One day while driving home from a party i was flipping through the radio looking for something to listen to.  I normally listen to pop, hip hop tops songs type stuff.  But i stopped on a station and started listening.  As the miles wore on (it was a 2 hour drive) i started to feel better and better.  The station i found was K-Love.  It made me feel amazing.  The music was so uplifting and the message i heard was just what i needed.  The DJs would come on between songs and just talk about how Jesus loved ME.  ME. I really needed to hear that, and hear it from someone other than my leader or my mother.  It was as if it was Christ's way of telling me himself.  That he cared about me, loved me and wanted me to succeed.

Since that drive K-Love and Positive Life Radio is what i listen to in the car 95% of the time.  I listen to it at home as well, but i also listen to the music on this blog or this blog.  The change in how i feel has been amazing.  There are time i'll listen to something else, some of the 'hits' and it's interesting how fast i feel crummy.  I don't like to feel crummy.  I love feeling positive and happy.  So i think i'll be sticking to my happy music :)

That was the turning point it seemed though.  From there i've been improving in all the other points of my life.  We no longer eat out 3-5 times a week but instead i am actually cooking homemade meal!  I know right!  I signed up for EMeals (Paleo plan) and it has been great.  No 'what's for dinner tonight' and everything tastes so good.  I've also been using essential oils to help uplift my mood.  I just put them in my diffuser, or place them in my hand and breathe deep.  So uplifting and refreshing!  Another things that has really helped me this last month has been i've started taking Juice Plus+.  And it has really been this last month i've seen some of the best changes.  I have energy, motivation and actually a pretty clear head.  My thoughts don't get muddled and i can see what i need to get done, and i have the motivation to do it, it's been great!  I have tried other "supplements" from other companies but nothing has helped me a much as the Juice Plus+, and i think it's because it's whole food nutrition from actual fruits and vegetables (they are juiced and then put into capsules).  I also preordered the book "Beautiful Babies" by Kristen Michaelis and because of preordering it, i got a lifetime membership to her online course worth $199! 

"In Beautiful Babies, nutrition educator Kristen Michaelis reveals the truth about diet and pregnancy. Based on her research of the nutrient-rich diets of healthy and fertile populations around the world, she lays out exactly what you should and shouldn't eat when trying to conceive, during pregnancy, and while breast-feeding. In the first half of the book she explains the ways industrialized foods can prevent pregnancy, how a low-fat diet can increase your likelihood of infertility by 85 percent, what to do if breast-feeding doesn't work for you, why babies can't digest cereal, and gives step-by-step instructions on how and when to introduce your baby's first foods. In the second half of the book she equips you with more than 50 recipes for incorporating traditional fertility-boosting foods into your diet. Beautiful Babies provides you with everything you need to know about having a healthy pregnancy and nourishing your growing baby."
If you would like to preorder and get the free course, just email your purchase receipt (i emailed the confirmation email) to  So far the lessons i've watched/read have been amazing and i'm looking forward to learning more.

But every day now has been really good.  I wake up in a good mood, i have energy, i put on my music, dance around with my daughter and let the sun shine into our home.  It's all baby steps.  I know i have a long way to go still, but how much i've come is amazing.  I want to continue to eat better, i am going to be looking into MTHFR and see if it's something i have, i've going to work on reading my scriptures and saying my prayers, and being a better, more involved mother and a better wife. 

I really feel like there has been a change in my life.  It hasn't been easy, but it's happening.  I hope others can see the changes as much as i can.  but if they cannot, that's ok, what matter is that my daughter and husband can, and that Christ can.

And that is what matters.