It's been a long weary journey

Hello followers!

  I wanted to make a quick blog post just to say that no, i did not die :)  Good new huh?  But of course, i have not been posting much, in fact, my last post was about 6 months ago.  Pretty pathetic.  Yes, life has been busy, as it always is, but that is no excuse not to post.  I promise, i will really try to do better, at least one good post a month (at least!).

So what's been going on in our neck of the woods?  Mostly a lot of self improvement.  The last year or so i've been dealing with a lot of depression (my post here explains it more) and working through my grief.  I know that my grief will never completely be over, but it has gotten much better.  I will always miss our daughter, but the pain has gotten easier to bare.  Giving myself actual time to work through my emotions, and having the support of those close in my life really helped.  I think that is what helped the most, to know those closest to me were no longer judging me and allowing me to be me.

Progress was slow, but it came.  One day while driving home from a party i was flipping through the radio looking for something to listen to.  I normally listen to pop, hip hop tops songs type stuff.  But i stopped on a station and started listening.  As the miles wore on (it was a 2 hour drive) i started to feel better and better.  The station i found was K-Love.  It made me feel amazing.  The music was so uplifting and the message i heard was just what i needed.  The DJs would come on between songs and just talk about how Jesus loved ME.  ME. I really needed to hear that, and hear it from someone other than my leader or my mother.  It was as if it was Christ's way of telling me himself.  That he cared about me, loved me and wanted me to succeed.

Since that drive K-Love and Positive Life Radio is what i listen to in the car 95% of the time.  I listen to it at home as well, but i also listen to the music on this blog or this blog.  The change in how i feel has been amazing.  There are time i'll listen to something else, some of the 'hits' and it's interesting how fast i feel crummy.  I don't like to feel crummy.  I love feeling positive and happy.  So i think i'll be sticking to my happy music :)

That was the turning point it seemed though.  From there i've been improving in all the other points of my life.  We no longer eat out 3-5 times a week but instead i am actually cooking homemade meal!  I know right!  I signed up for EMeals (Paleo plan) and it has been great.  No 'what's for dinner tonight' and everything tastes so good.  I've also been using essential oils to help uplift my mood.  I just put them in my diffuser, or place them in my hand and breathe deep.  So uplifting and refreshing!  Another things that has really helped me this last month has been i've started taking Juice Plus+.  And it has really been this last month i've seen some of the best changes.  I have energy, motivation and actually a pretty clear head.  My thoughts don't get muddled and i can see what i need to get done, and i have the motivation to do it, it's been great!  I have tried other "supplements" from other companies but nothing has helped me a much as the Juice Plus+, and i think it's because it's whole food nutrition from actual fruits and vegetables (they are juiced and then put into capsules).  I also preordered the book "Beautiful Babies" by Kristen Michaelis and because of preordering it, i got a lifetime membership to her online course worth $199! 

"In Beautiful Babies, nutrition educator Kristen Michaelis reveals the truth about diet and pregnancy. Based on her research of the nutrient-rich diets of healthy and fertile populations around the world, she lays out exactly what you should and shouldn't eat when trying to conceive, during pregnancy, and while breast-feeding. In the first half of the book she explains the ways industrialized foods can prevent pregnancy, how a low-fat diet can increase your likelihood of infertility by 85 percent, what to do if breast-feeding doesn't work for you, why babies can't digest cereal, and gives step-by-step instructions on how and when to introduce your baby's first foods. In the second half of the book she equips you with more than 50 recipes for incorporating traditional fertility-boosting foods into your diet. Beautiful Babies provides you with everything you need to know about having a healthy pregnancy and nourishing your growing baby."
If you would like to preorder and get the free course, just email your purchase receipt (i emailed the confirmation email) to booklaunch@foodrenegade.com.  So far the lessons i've watched/read have been amazing and i'm looking forward to learning more.

But every day now has been really good.  I wake up in a good mood, i have energy, i put on my music, dance around with my daughter and let the sun shine into our home.  It's all baby steps.  I know i have a long way to go still, but how much i've come is amazing.  I want to continue to eat better, i am going to be looking into MTHFR and see if it's something i have, i've going to work on reading my scriptures and saying my prayers, and being a better, more involved mother and a better wife. 

I really feel like there has been a change in my life.  It hasn't been easy, but it's happening.  I hope others can see the changes as much as i can.  but if they cannot, that's ok, what matter is that my daughter and husband can, and that Christ can.

And that is what matters.

Everyone Needs a 'New Year Resolution' Post right?

So it's the beginning of a new year and of course we look ahead and think about what we want to accomplish.  It's only natural.  There are so many things i want to do this year so i wanted to put them down on "paper" so i have a better chance of acheiving these goals.

I would like to *finally* follow my card system by the 'side tracked home executives'. 

I am just not a naturally organized person!  I have the desire and sometimes it actually happens, but it really is something i have to work at.  I envy my friends who just seem to have their lives in order and can so easily get things done and have their life in order!   If i just followed this system i would automaticly do so many of the things i want to do, like keep a clean and organized house, know what is for dinner before 8pm, remember people's birthdays and send cards, have time for my projects and so much more.  I have the system nearly in place, i just have to follow it!  I know my mother followed the same system when she had a young family and it worked for her, so now it's my turn!

Eat better

I've already talked about this in another post, but i figured i should mention it again.

 I would like to get my craft business off the ground.

I have big ideas, i just have to go through with them.  My goal is to have a booth at my home towns yearly celebration.

Be more social

Most would think i do not have a problem with this, but i actually do.  I blame it on my "anti-social" husband LOL.  I reallyu with we hung out more with friends and did more things with other people.  I plan on having more game nights and inviting people over more for dinner and such.

Stop Shaving

Ok, so most of you mgiht think this one is gross but i don't care.  Just because i will not be shaving does not mean i won't be clean.  I'm sick and tired of having to shave to please someone else.  My husband doesn't care if i do or not so why should it?  I will allow myself to trim the underarms as i see necessary but for one whole year i do not want to shave.  

Start Using Family Cloth

On the topic of things i'm sick of, i'm sick of having to buy toilet paper!  So this year i would like to finish our cloth wipes and start using cloth TP in our house.  I plan on making a seperate post talking about this.

Look into becoming a certified car seat technition

With how passionate i am about car seat safety i think it only makes sense that i become certified and do car seat checks and teach classes and such.

Now i could go on but i think these are the main ones right now and it's pretty hard to type with one hand lol. 

What are your goals this new year?

Health Goals

A personal goal of mine (one of many) is to start eating healthier and get my family on track health wise.  I haven't made the best progress in this area, but the desire is there!

I feel our family is not the worst when it comes to nutrition, but we are no where near where we need to be.  An area where i feel we are better is the fact that we eat meat very sparingly and if we do, it's normally chicken.  I also try really hard not to make too many "box meals" and the such.  But there is so much more we need to do.

One of my delimas is the fact that The Hubby is kinda a picky eater (he's a texture guy mostly).  He's not the worst, but he knows what  he likes and what he doesn't like and sticks with that (even if he's never really tried the thing he "doesn't like").   It's hard for me since i am not a picky eater (and i hate feeling like i have to cater to his likes).  I feel i'm not picky because when i was growing up i was encouraged (and sometimes made) to eat all different kinds of food.  Yes, there are some foods i truly do not enjoy, but for the most part, i will try anything.  Hubby on the other hand, well, his mother tended to cater to all the kids desires and they weren't made to try things if they didn't want to.  Also, i don't think his mother really likes to cook so pretty much everything is their house is prepared food of some sort (or they eat fast food, like eating out at least 2-3 times a week).  Like, think freezer meals, stove top, pre-made spice packets, box meals, pop tarts, jars of candy, pop, etc etc.  The only fresh food they normally have is possibly an apple or two, a bag of baby carrots for the crockpot on sunday, and a bag of pre-made salad.   

So this makes it hard when i try to make healthy food for our family.  The Hubby's favorite go to food is pasta.  Can that man eat pasta! (think a pound at a time!)  And i guess it would be ok if he ate it with a healthy tomato sauce, but he doesn't.  His favorite topping is ranch and cheese.  Yes, you did read that correctly.  I was able to get him to switch to whole wheat pasta instead of regular, so that's a bit better i guess..... I love this man so much, but sometimes trying to get him to each healthier is a hassle, so i don't really bother.

But i need to, i really do.  I am not where i would like to be health wise.  Sure, i can blame it on having 2 pregnancies 6 months apart, but i wasn't healthy before my first pregnancy and i'm not healthy now.  To put it plainly, i'm obese, even if i don't look it.  Yes, i'm obese.  I hate knowing that.  And then there is The Hubby.  He is also overweight and not where he should be health wise.  And this scares me since his family has some serious health issues (although a lot has  to do with their lifestyle of course) and i don't want that to happen to my husband.  And my mother was obese my entire childhood and still is and i don't want to end up like her either.

 But i will say it is hard to take control of our lives and change.  There was always so much pressure from my mother not to get fat which made me upset and depressed and made me not want to try even that much more.  And like i said, The Hubby never grew up eating well (i'd say he's lucky if he gets 1-2 servings of fruits and veggies a day).

But we need to take control and change.  We need to do it for ourselves, for our daughter and our future children.  Yes, i can keep making excuses or i can get down to business and just try harder.  It is not going to be easy, but i need to try, because if i don't try then i will fail. 

I'm sorry if this post hasn't made much sense, or if i've rambled...i think i'm making this post  more for  myself so i'll stop making excuses.  If i put it out publicly that i want to change, then maybe i'll feel more of a commitment to my goal.

So what is my goal?  I can't just say i want to eat healthier, that is too broad of a goal.

I would like to loose at least 80lbs in the next 2 years.

I want to eat at least 5 servings of fruits and vegetables a day.

I want to plan my meals so i know what  is for dinner before 7pm.

I want to get active and exercise at least 3 times a week.

I want to drink at least 2 liters of water a day.

I want to stop buying so much processed food and cook more from scratch.

Limit the sweets in our house.
Eat at the table.
Eat more beans and such.
Eat more fish.
Use the crockpot more.
Limit eating out to 4 times a month (including take out)

Pack The Hubby's lunch every day.

I can't say i'll get on top of all these goals right away while trying to juggle life with a new baby who is having so many fussy issues (she can't handle dairy in my breastmilk and she's not even 2 months old yet and is cutting 2 teeth).  But i have my main goal to loose weight, and i have my deadline, so one way or another i need to reach this goal.  Thank you for letting me ramble and let my feelings out.  

Do you have any goals to get your family healthier?